The Science of Gratitude: One Story That Changed My Gratitude Practice

For years, my gratitude practice looked a lot like everyone else's.

I'd write down a few things I was thankful for.

• A warm cup of coffee

• My family

• A beautiful sunset

• Working legs

And while those moments and things absolutely matter, I recently listened to an episode of the Huberman Lab Essentials podcast, The Science of Gratitude & How to Build a Gratitude Practice, that completely changed how I think about practicing gratitude.

Not because it told me I was doing it wrong, but because it suggested there may be an even more powerful way to experience gratitude.

Gratitude Is More Than a List

One of the ideas that stood out most from the podcast was that our brains seem to respond differently when gratitude is connected to a meaningful story.

The research discussed suggests that simply listing things we're grateful for can certainly be beneficial. But reflecting on a real moment of human connection—especially a time when someone genuinely expressed gratitude toward you—may create a stronger emotional experience and potentially strengthen the neural pathways associated with gratitude.

In other words, don't just think:

"I'm grateful for my family."

Instead, remember a specific moment.

• A hug

• A conversation

• A thank-you letter

• A look on someone's face.

Relive it.

Feel it.

Even spending a minute revisiting that memory can have a surprisingly powerful impact!

The Story That Immediately Came to Mind

As I listened, I started asking myself:

"When has someone expressed gratitude toward me in a way that truly changed me?"

At first, I struggled.

Like many people, it almost felt uncomfortable to answer that question. We're taught to stay humble, and sometimes that means brushing off moments when others genuinely appreciate us.

But eventually, one memory kept resurfacing!

It wasn't an award.

It wasn't recognition.

It wasn't a professional accomplishment.

It was after we lost our daughter, Evelia.

After she was stillborn, I made the decision to continue pumping breast milk so I could donate it.

While we were pregnant with her I joined a Turner Syndrome Facebook Group for parents. During that journey, I learned so much about Turner Syndrome and wanted to give back to another family affected by Turner Syndrome. I was able to post about wanting to donate milk and through that page we found an incredible family in Arkansas in need of breastmilk!

Their adopted daughter was facing many medical challenges, including Turner syndrome. Arkansas and Nebraska aren't exactly neighbors but it felt like divine intervention because my parents and some family friends own cabins in Missouri—only about an hour from where they lived!

With the help of my parents, and their friends, we were able to get over 1,000 ounces of milk to this lovely family.

To me, it never really felt like my gift.

It felt like Evelia's.

She wasn't able to stay here with us, but somehow her life was still nourishing another little girl!

That thought brought purpose to a season filled with unimaginable grief.

The Gratitude That Healed Me

Eventually, we headed down and met the family for breakfast!

They introduced us to their beautiful daughter.

They welcomed us into their lives.

They shared their story.

And they thanked us!

It wasn't extravagant.

There wasn't a grand ceremony.

Just genuine kindness and a delicious breakfast!

Looking back, I realize that what impacted me most wasn't simply that they appreciated the donation.

It was that they allowed us to see the difference it made!

Their gratitude helped transform one of the hardest chapters of our lives into something that also carried hope.

It reminded me that love continues.

That kindness continues.

That even tragedy can become the beginning of someone else's blessing.

Years later, I still think about that breakfast.

And now, thanks to this podcast, I understand why.

That memory isn't just emotionally meaningful.

It's become part of my gratitude practice.

Maybe We've Been Looking in the Wrong Direction

When most of us think about gratitude, we look outward.

We're thankful for:

• Our homes

• Our jobs

• Our health

• Our families

Now don't get me wrong, those things are wonderful!

But perhaps we should also look inward at the moments when another human being made us feel valued.

When someone sincerely thanked us.

When they let us know we mattered.

Those moments deserve our attention, too.

Not because we need praise.

But because they remind us that our lives have meaning.

That our actions ripple outward in ways we may never fully understand.

Be Someone Else's Gratitude Story

As I reflected on this, another thought kept coming back to me:

If remembering someone else's gratitude can strengthen our own gratitude practice...

Then maybe expressing gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can give another person!

How many thank-you notes never get written?

How many encouraging texts stay in our heads?

How many people never hear the impact they've made?

Maybe your words become the story someone remembers years from now.

Maybe your simple "thank you" becomes the memory they revisit when they're trying to reconnect with hope.

Maybe you become part of the way their brain learns to see the good in the world.

That's a pretty incredible thought!

My Challenge for You

First, I highly recommend listening to the Huberman Lab Essentials episode on gratitude. If you enjoy learning about the science behind human behavior, you'll find it fascinating!

Then try this simple exercise:

• Close your eyes for one minute.

• Think of a specific time when someone expressed sincere gratitude toward you.

Don't analyze it.

Don't minimize it.

Don't tell yourself it wasn't a big deal.

Simply relive the moment.

Notice how it felt.

Notice how it still feels.

Then ask yourself one more question:

Who in my life deserves to hear "thank you" today?

• Send the text.

• Write the note.

• Make the phone call.

You never know.

Years from now, that simple expression of gratitude may become someone else's story—the one they return to again and again as they build a more grateful life!

That's exactly what Gratitude Force is all about!

Not gratitude that stops with us.

But gratitude that keeps moving from one heart to another, creating a force that grows stronger every time it's shared.

I'd love to hear your story!

What's one moment when someone expressed gratitude toward you that you've never forgotten?

Share it in the comments.