Awhile back I was having a lovely conversation with some fellow REALTORS®. We were having a casual conversation about jazz events in our town.
Boy did that conversation inspire some cool events in my future!
During this said conversation a class was brought up where a voice teacher takes complete newbies and teaches them how to get jazzy with it. I was instantly intrigued! In the shower or when the vacuum is going I like to pretend I'm the next Amy Winehouse, Judy Garland, Adele, Celine Dion or Disney character... You name it I've tried to sing it :)
Thus I had to know more!
What is Torch Singer 101?
Torch Singer 101 is a stellar class that Jackie Allen current Lincolnite and outstanding Jazz performer hosts. It is AWESOME!
The class runs 6 weeks and the last week we have a dress rehearsal and performance the next day. The performance is in a local bar where any patron is welcome... That means a lot of strangers!
General Questions
Still wondering what a Torch Singer is?
A singer of torch songs of course!
The next logical question would be: What the hell is a torch song?
As Merriam-Webster puts it: "a popular sentimental song of unrequited love"
Okay how about some examples?
Spotify Albumn: The 50 Best Torch Songs Ever
Typically when I think of a torch song I think older singers but this generation has brought some different singers that have their spin on Torch Singing:
I Dreamed A Dream by Susan Boyle - Britains Got Talent Version
Where do you find Torch Singing?
I can't say for everywhere but generally you will see it where there is live music and an intimate audience. Think grand piano or cello accompaniment.
Though venues are ever changing I think of a woman in a stunning gown, draped around a grand piano singing songs of heartache and with a passion so deep you can feel their emotions.
Torch Singing in Lincoln, NE
Torch Singer Class - Obviously where ever the class is performing, find updates here.
Screamers Dining & Cabaret - Dinner and a show not limited to Torch Songs only.
The Starlite Lounge - Not sure if they do live singing but the music is very in theme.
Jackie Allen - The teacher of the Torch Singer 101 Class.
My Torch Singing Experience
This class was absolutely an experience. I will tell you I went from extreme excitement to nervous breakdown on any given day. Okay I'm being dramatic but it was a new situation and the pressure is on anytime you are in front of people, plus this added a singing element.
My first class I did not know what to expect at all. The class was made up of 8 singers, in this case all female, but that is not always how it is. Quite a few of them were not Torch virgins like myself. That added an element of "oh shit". Please keep in mind my experience in singing was choir in school and the shower at home. I can't keep a beat to save my life but I think that's because I beat to my own drum 🥁🙄
During the class we practice a group song all together and then we decide what we want to sing. This is where I started getting really nervous! I am so bad at artist names, styles and technical stuff, let's be honest reading music without other people to guide me... It all seemed very foreign to me. The experienced ladies were throwing out words like ritardando... What does that even mean?!?!!
After class I thought to myself... What the hell did I sign up for?
It took me a couple classes to get comfortable and these poor ladies had to deal with my, "Oh sorry i'm so stupid" shy demeanor... That would annoy anyone especially when they too are out of their comfort zone. Thankfully everyone was very encouraging and never made me feel like I didn't belong! Seriously the environment was so inviting, I was the only person making my insecurities a problem.
As classes continued I got more comfortable and even threw out some fun beats while we warmed up with scatting. This was a fun adventure! We would walk/bounce around the rooms in a line spitting out different jibberish beats. Each person taking a turn, adding in nervous pauses or pausing because you didn't realize you're next. It resembled this scene in The Proposal:
You get to choose two solo songs to perform. I told the girls I was trying to get my boyfriend to propose so I went with a Spanish song. The song was Besame Mucho - I liked the Connie Francis version and used it as a reference. The other song I chose was It's a Good Day by Peggy Lee. It felt right since I needed a little pump up before serenading my love.
Rehearsal
The super cool part about this class is we had world class accompaniment. This meant it featured Hans Sturm on Cello and Tom Larson on the piano. These guys are miracle makers! Seriously when I say I don't have a beat, I really don't. During dress rehearsal I felt so bad for them I had them doing the musical equivalent of suicide drills. They kept up and adapted with ease, I was seriously impressed. They reassured me the next day they would follow me off a cliff if they needed to (musically speaking).
Performance
The day was finally here... I sang my songs so much I didn't think I would ever get them out of my head. The hardest part was since I was surprising Eliezer I wouldn't sing them around him. Which meant he couldn't critique me, it was going to be a cold open - that was hard!
All day my nerves were everywhere, butterflies in my tummy and fear on my breath...
My family was planning on coming (Mom and Dad), best friends, Eliezer, his friends, my coworker that introduced the class. The list was getting longer and I wasn't sure anyone would show. Surprisingly my parents brought along my aunt, uncle and my cousin Stef.
Funny side story is that the dress I wore is my absolute favorite dress! The only time that is really appropriate to wear it though is funerals.
The funny part of it is that it was my cousin Stef's jazz dress! Ironic I didn't even realize that is where I got the dress but I absolutely love it. What is most ironic about it is my cousin Stef was the one who encouraged me to sing. I always grew up going to her performances and she would help me sing-a-long to all kinds of music. She even dealt with me singing the words that I don't know, she only reminded me I didn't know the words a few times 🤭
Anyway Eliezer dropped me off to go park and then we helped get the venue set up. The locale was a local craft house called The Happy Raven. I had been there one other time during their sour beer fest. It's a fun little place with good beers!
Then the time came... TIME TO SING!!!
The performance started off with the group number.
It went well in my opinion! We all fit up there nice and tight, with the comfort of each other's fears. It started out meek but soon enough we lit up the room with sass and jazz.
Don't worry the next class I'll just record it on my camera in better quality!
I think I was 6th in the line up or something like that! It all went very quickly - I don't quite remember...
Here was my performance:
It was a good time! I had an amazing amount of support from friends, family and strangers! That made it fun and easy to get through. I started having more fun with it once I got a little more comfortable. Thank goodness to Tom & Hans because I did take them off a cliff and started at a whole different verse than I was supposed to on the first song. They made it very smooth and made it sound like it was on purpose!
Facing Your Fears
Singing is something I enjoy but not something I do solo, in front of people. That is out of my comfort zone! However since this is something I enjoy I thought hell why not! I can talk about it forever and never do something or I can jump on it and just get it done and live with the consequences.
I did a few things in helping deal with my fears. The very first step was to inquire about the class. That was easy, once I found out when the class was coming around I didn't hesitate to sign up. If I would have thought about it too long I would not have done it.
The next thing I did was send in the money. Sometimes a monetary pressure is the best way to commit. I won't say that works every single time but in this case it helped. Then I went to the class. It was fun, not intimidating. I felt out of place because my experience was limited but they didn't fault me for it.
During class we would practicing singing our songs in front of each other. That was the first in front of singing fear. Other people went before me and sang. They were nervous too and that made me feel less out of place. Through continued practice though it got easier and easier.
The real fear facing came the day it was time to perform in front of people. To prepare for that I took the following steps:
Visualization
I visualized singing it the way I want to, with drama and confidence. I imagined happy faces and supportive friends/family. This was a good technique that helped me connect with how I wanted the show to go.
Deep Breathing
I would take deep breathes and focus on my breathing. Each breathe in was about 4 counts and another 4 counts out. I would tap along with my fingers to keep me more distracted from singing and focused on breathing.
Appreciation
I told myself inspiring little messages, commending myself for coming this far. In my little pep talk I said do it for the people that took time out of their days to come and watch you. Make them proud!
Humor
The whole break a leg thing is humor. Humor can be a nice way to diminish the fears. Making yourself smile makes you happier and laughing seems like it eases nerves even if it is fake. Plus if it all goes to hell you might as well have some humor that makes it funny memory.
Make a List
Sometimes the simple task of checking a box or crossing off something on your to do list can be enough. Humans are interesting creatures and we love games. If there is something we can beat we like the idea of doing just that. So put your fears on a list and just start checking them off.
All of these techniques helped me get past my fears about singing in public. In the end I really enjoyed the whole experience! So much so that I have signed up for the 2020 Valentine's Day class.
It's funny how things work. I started this blog post this morning and at a meeting we discussed overcoming rejection. We watched a video that featured Jia Jiang from DareMe. It really spoke to some of what my fears were regarding the singing class. Anyway his perspective on dealing with rejection was great! He decided to seek it out.
Now I don't think i'm looking for rejection in this situation but I was looking for discomfort because that is where you learn to grow. That was the biggest thing I learned from this experience. Discomfort = Growth. Since the show I have been less afraid to try things - this whole blog is a great example. I have owned this domain for like 3 years and it wasn't until this year that I pulled the trigger and went live. I know it's not perfect but it feels good knowing it is up and running.
Gratitude
This experience was eye opening. It helped me grow in so many ways and introduced me to great people! Since the class our group of 8 has stayed connected. We had a small dinner gathering at one of the gals houses. We also got a group of us together for dinner and a show that one of the Torches was in. I am so thankful I got to meet all of them and that we have stayed connected. Jackie, Tom & Hans are absolutely amazing and it is crazy that I got to make and share music on the same stage, with these talented artists! Truly I feel like superstar from this experience, my family and friends made sure to express that they were my posse and were extremely supportive! Thank you everyone!
🎶What have you done that you fear? How do you overcome fear? What scares but intrigues you most?🎤